


Talkin' 'bout People

by SorchaR



Series: SorchaR’s Semi-Infinite Starker Playlist [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Because ditto, Because seriously what was up with that, Clint Barton is a nosy bro, Don't touch Peter's stuff, M/M, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, No Natasha/Bruce, No sekrit Barton family, Protective Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:41:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29928744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SorchaR/pseuds/SorchaR
Summary: Tony and Peter are not as sneaky as they think they are.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Series: SorchaR’s Semi-Infinite Starker Playlist [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1967119
Comments: 2
Kudos: 59





	Talkin' 'bout People

**Author's Note:**

> I realize that IRL people would have a lot more of an issue with a guy Tony's age being with a guy Peter's age, and that's a good thing. However, this is fiction, and it's the Avengers, and I feel like they'd figure if Peter is old enough to fight supervillains, he's old enough to decide who to fuck.
> 
> Yes, I use Clint a lot in this. That's what I do.
> 
> Song is "Something to Talk About" by Bonnie Raitt.

Tony and Peter are extremely careful to keep their relationship on the downlow. It’s not that they think the others would have a problem with it in other circumstances, but the age thing might be an issue, and they’re not ready to deal with that. Thus, they make very sure to behave the same with each other as they always have unless they’re completely alone. They’re quite certain nobody suspects a thing.

*****

The consensus among the team is that for two such frighteningly intelligent people, Tony and Peter can be really fucking clueless.

***

“D’you think May knows?” Clint picks up the card Natasha has put down, dropping one of his in its place. 

“She doesn’t know,” Bucky says. He’s playing Mario Kart with Steve, who is the only person who will still play with him thanks to his competitive streak. “If she knew, Tony wouldn’t still be walking around.”

“She’d rip his balls out right through the Iron Man suit,” Sam agrees, drawing from the deck and discarding.

“And lock Peter in his room until he’s forty,” Steve says. “I mean, he could get out, but she’d do it anyway.”

Bruce glances up from his laptop. “Peter’s ‘room’ is in Massachusetts,” he points out. “Might be a little difficult for her to do that.”

“Doesn’t mean she wouldn’t try.”

Nat picks up Sam’s discard, drops one of her own, and lays her hand down. “Gin.” She leans back in her chair. “May knows.”

“She doesn’t know!” Clint objects, scooping up the cards to shuffle and deal.

“She knows. Trust me.”

*****

Clint looks up from his Switch, where he’s currently making a new town tune in Animal Crossing. “Who do you think tops?”

Steve’s head whips around. “What the hell, Clint?”

“Language,” Natasha says mildly without lifting her gaze from her book.

Steve ignores her. “You can’t just ask who tops, Clint!”

“Yeah, Clint,” Bucky agrees, “that’s a really offensive question.” He pauses. “I mean, a lot of couples switch.” He pops a grape into his mouth and elbows Steve, whose ears turn red.

“Huh.” Clint ponders that. “Okay, then. I wonder who tops more?”

*****

In point of fact, Tony and Peter do switch, pretty much 50/50. Peter would be mortified by Clint’s speculation, while Tony, who had at least a couple of sex tapes floating around back in the day, would just turn it back around and ask Clint how often Natasha pegs him.

*****

“How do you think they’ll come out? They gotta tell us sooner or later.” Clint puts his bow case down and tugs his shirt off. 

“Well, Peter’s 18th birthday is coming up, so probably then.” Bucky skins out of his pants. “An awkward but earnest announcement after the party guests have left, with Tony being deeply apprehensive that one or more of us will beat the shit out of him for fucking Peter.”

“If we haven’t beaten the shit out of him for being Tony, I see no reason to beat the shit out of him now.” Natasha, uncaring of the fact that she’s the only woman in the locker room, strips and grabs her towel. “I think it’ll be something dramatic, some kind of rescue. Peter rescuing Tony,” she adds by way of clarification.

“No way.” Sam shakes his head. “I’m with Bucky, and those are some words I never thought I’d say.”

Natasha smiles. “Care to make a bet?”

*******

“Whoa.”

Clint, positioned at the front of the group, looks around the room, where seven people are webbed to the walls. Peter, who was off the Quinjet before it completely touched down, is crouched in the corner, murmuring to Tony as he works to release him.

“It was so fast,” one of the kidnappers says, sounding dazed. “The door...he ripped it right off the hinges! And what the hell is this?” He jerks his head at the web holding him. “I don’t understand…”

Clint shrugs. “Don’t know what to tell ya, man. Don’t touch the kid’s stuff.”

Natasha jerks her head at Peter, who has ripped off his cowl and is kissing Tony like they’re the only two people in the world. “Pay up, gentlemen.” She holds out her hand.

“I don’t carry money on missions!” Bucky protests. “It’s not like I’m planning on picking up groceries on the way home!”

“Yeah, do you see a pocket on this suit?” Sam says, gesturing at himself. “It’s only fifty bucks. You can wait.”

Peter pulls back from Tony. “Wait, what are you guys talking about?”

“They made a bet,” Clint says helpfully, “about how we’d find out about you two. Nat won.”

Tony frowns. “You bet on - wait, you knew?”

“Of course we knew, Tony.” Steve shakes his head. “You two are pretty obvious.”

Peter stands and pulls Tony to his feet, supporting his weight. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“We were giving you your space,” Natasha says kindly. “Letting you pick your own time.”

Clint clears his throat and glances at Nat. “Does May know?”

“Are you kidding? Of course she does. She threatened Tony with some pretty spectacular shovel talk.” 

Natasha throws Clint a triumphant grin, and he groans. “I’ll pay you when we get back.”

Peter sighs and shakes his head. “You are horrible, horrible people.”

“Not to mention stupid,” Tony adds. “Who the fuck bets against Romanoff?”


End file.
